Night 3

 Number 1 from the Arabic: My first counsel is this: Possess a pure, kind and radiant heart that thine may be a soverignty ancient, imperishable and everlasting. From The Hidden Words by Baha'u'llah

So what does this say? Who does it speak to? How can one achieve purity? When I was a itty bitty baby.. I thought I wasn't pure enough,,,that was why the Virgin Mary never answered or looked down at me ... in real life. 30 acres next to Russel Field Airport in the snotty pine sap turpintine covered hills of North Georgia, I was in a fantasy world war before there was 1 or II hacking at the tree trunks with St. Thomas' staff, working through alot of turmoil in mom and dad's lives. Coping mostly. I said to  Jesus; " make me pure", under my breath as I prayed little war games with the autumn leaves, Oaks, birches, butternut, sugar maples, when their skin dried into rusts, reds, golds, turd browns, fell into my armies and squadrons most satisfying my desire to destroy,  to tearing, ripping and clawing. Zippy, Dolah, "these are yours", and a shadow woman rarely interrupting my dialogues with the Others..Purity..that was it. Let it all pass through me into the leaves.

Kindness. What was that? Yes there was kindness all around me, but I was only dimly aware of it on my knees saying extra prayers to the Virgin Mary at the end of a long day in my dakness, looking out through the windows where the spiders grew, rich and fat from the wood moths that got caught in the funnel webs in the window sills. I was being watched. I frightened myself with their watching, waiting, shadows up high on the outside, but sometimes, kindness lets them come into my room, belay! belay your bright eyes from my imagination.....

And lastly, Radiance. Where was that? Yes, there was radiance out after dark behind the trees, rising up, further and further away the closer I approached, climbing through the barbed wire fence, then weaving my way, ahead or behind a fat black old cocker spaniel, In the low growing stickers, and thorns, wild blackberry red berry bush homes to giant dark shapes, "go get 'em girl. Prissy girl..." or where is she? never mind onward towards the moonrise beyond the hill top, overlooking Russel's field, there she was, Radiance.

If I got all three of 'em Purity, Kindness and Radiance. what would I git? standin there dumber than wonder bread at the moon. soverignty before suppertime, or dinnertime? which was it? I've forgotten.... somebody's callin  me....."Tommy! Tommmmmmmy! Tommy, Supper. Where are you?" A soverign shouldn't have to return, shouldn't have to pay attention to the schedule..ancient, imperishable and everlastting....no I had to turn away from Mr. Moon. I had to git back down, come here girl, com on Prissy, we gotta git back...Mom's calling, Dad's gonna be angry..he already is...sending out Linda to find me. nothing lasts forever, unless you forget its starting....